This weekend a group of us dined at Michael Voltaggio’s Ink on Melrose Ave. Despite the rave reviews from adventurous male diners who got “boners” over the exotic menu, I was personally grossed out by every other dish. I mean if brussel sprouts with pig ears are your sort of thing, good’on’you. I’ll pass- Dessert Please!

So good news first- these desserts were distinctly better than those at Red Medicine, another chi chi, avant-garde restaurant that crafts such terrible desserts I was literally Angry after eating them. So hooray- these were better. The best, most edible, and actually delicious dessert was the Greek Yogurt, Strawberry, Rhubarb, Coconut, as named on the menu.

The consistency and flavor of the yogurt was much like a a Panna Cotta, topped with sweet sauce, berries, shaved ice, and a few granola crisps. The coconut flavor barely existed amidst the other bright and citrusy flavors.

The next two desserts were not nearly as pleasant as the Greek Yogurt. This Chocolate, Ice Cream, Spiced Tofu, Sesame Cake plate featured rancid tasting chocolate ice cream and moss like Sesame Cake that I actually spit out. The only edible items on this dish were the plain cylinders of chocolate ganache and the thin, crispy wafers on top.

Finally, we also had the Apple, Caramel Burnt Wood Ice Cream dessert that had weird gelatinous cubes, a bacon-like flavor, and was just an overall blend of mystery and cacaphony. It probably didn’t help that the savory dishes featured so many weird items that I was afraid an eyeball would pop up at anytime and stare back at me, even in a dessert dish.

I always took pride in my abilities to eat pretty much any and everything..until Ink. Guess I’m more traditional than I thought! While many people love this restaurant on Yelp, I’m happy to never revisit this place again.. unless, I’m in a diet!

For more info on Ink by Michael Voltaggio click here.